Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Email to 1998 from Vlad




SUBJECT: To 1998 Vlad


Hello 1998 Vlad

The intervening years have been a mixed bag to be honest.

*The job you love, you'll leave. It will break your heart, and you'll resent it like feck, but you will make more money working for the Man and you had to do something about being skint, with a young family. That said, I now begin to worry I have sold your soul to the Corporation as they no longer care what I feel or think.

*your kids grow up to be relatively well adjusted and happy

*although you have to leave them for that to happen, as your crazy wife was possessed with greed and envy and hates you for not fulfilling her fairy tale view of how her life was turning out. It will break your heart to see them grow up in fortnightly instalments, even though you live the next village along. You may also want to bear in mind that shouting at the kids is out of frustration at your wife. You never do anything nasty, but being roared at isnt pleasant for small children, who are only riffing off the awful household vibe. Spend a bit more time with them, you'll thank yourself later.

*Your recently born youngest daughter will make a near miraculous recovery from her Erb's Palsy, and although she will have some issues, nothing like what your hysterical wife is making out. The big burn she gets off her mums hot coffee disappears too.

*Your wife; as I mentioned above, you decide you have to leave her. She see-saws emotionally through everyday life situations, like the death of her gran or your daughters Erb's palsy, or the dishwasher being filled "wrong". She resents the fact that you stay calm as she falls to bits; you are "cold and callous". She punishes you by spending more money than is entirely sensible on everything. On top of this, she thinks you should have got a £100k job, work Mon-Fri and have 3 foreign holidays a year, whilst she stays at home turning into her domineering mother, who she dislikes. As you don't fulfil this dream, she hates you for it more and more. She tells you she wants you to leave for years and years and when you do, 7 years from now, she hates you even more. This will be a source of annoyance for you, for some time to come.

*You meet your teenage sweetheart and move in. This is a good move. You get to be you, and do the things that mean something to you (and your new GF). You feel that if you are happy, then the kids will be happy that you are happy. And lets face it, one of their parents has to move their life to a better place and not wallow in self misery.

*But before this you meet a girl called Lynsey. 21year old nymphomaniac with severe self esteem issues. Although she is in only your life for 3 months, it would be worth not bothering for the sake of your head. That said, you'll be 36, newly single out of a loveless marriage and thinking with your nob. Just consider not getting involved?

*You are a lazy bastard in 1998 and I have only got worse. Try to get into the habit of doing some exercise, it would perhaps give me the impetus now

*In a similar vein, try to keep in touch with Dr L, your only real friend. He never complains about the infrequent catch ups, he has a busy life too, but its nice to show you think of him and his missus more than once a year.

*Oh and you still havent passed your driving test, although you dont feel the regret or frustration that others think you should. This may yet come back to haunt you/me.

Future Vlad