SUBJECT: My contribution
James here, from the future: 2010 in fact. I am typing this while looking out the window of what will become your own office, looking at your old office, the one you are working in as you read this. Go and have a look out of the window behind you. Do you see those windows above Mustang Sally’s? That me, on the top floor, looking back at you. There are so many layers of reality going on here that if you in anyway understand this, you should write a screenplay for an English dude - who makes the two Batman films you always wanted to see - to adapt into a film about dreams and reality.
Here’s some advice:
- Don’t buy Call of Duty 4 (or the sequels). Just stick to playing Wipeout, the HD version (what’s HD? Put it this way, the TV you watch now will look like a blurred series of monochrome coloured blocks) will be ace and you can just play it for a few hours now and again, rather than sitting up too late most evenings getting shot at by grenade launchers.
- You know you watched Terminator 2 about eight years ago and thought ‘no one is going to top this’? You were right, they won’t. Although Jim Cameron will make the two biggest films of all time. But no, one of them isn’t a sequel to Aliens. Sorry. One of them has got aliens in it. But they’re blue and look a bit gormless.
- Your kids will be amazing, and one day (much sooner than you think), you won’t care that you (and her - hooray, you make it) don’t go out dancing anymore.
- The job loyalty thing is admirable, but it ends badly at the worst possible time. Don’t worry, it all works out in the end. And naming YOUR company after a brilliant house track IS cool.
- One of your best mates will get into a spat with Orange and create a phenomenon. He will not age one day from 1998 onwards. Remember to ask him how he does that.
Anyway, take it easy mate. And remember if you feel fed up, look out for a TV show on Channel 4 next year called Spaced.
Love James xx