There I was, thinking all this would be a good idea. But using the Nokia 6210 - despite the fact that it bounces and the battery lasts for six days - has been a right pain in the proverbials.
Time to bring things down a bit. Let's get real.
One. Typing a text message on the non-predictive, 10-key number pad is so mindnumbingly (and thumbnumbingly) boring, I've actually reverted to speaking to people.
Two. People stare at me when I'm on it, with real fear in their eyes. I'm sure they whisper to each other too. When the text beeps go off or (God forbid) it rings, people start to laugh.
Three. No email. No Facebook. No Twitter (apart from Tweeting via text). No Shazam. No LinkedIn. No Peggle. Nothing to do on the bus.
Four. No maps. I'm in the habit of leaving the house with a vague idea of where I'm going, and a GPS map to do the rest. Now I just forget I don't have one and end up lost.
Five. Limited storage for numbers. I've laboriously typed in 10 people's numbers so most of the time have no idea who might be calling, or how to call anyone.
Time for another fax to Orange, methinks...
Note: The original 6210 picture has been Photoshopped (using my mad skills) to suit the tone of the piece. Don't complain - I learnt Photoshop in 1994. So there.