Seeing as I'm currently on hold to Google Play support, I thought I'd write a quick how-to for people attempting to re-enter the Android community after years with iOS-only devices.
1. Try to pre-order a Google Nexus 7 on the Google Play site. Fail with the first two credit cards due to unspecified errors.
2. Wait. Don't expect any news.
3. Receive your device in a battered cardboard box, with all the padding up one end, exposing the device to damage should it be dropped the unlucky way up.
4. Power up the device and try to play the pre-loaded Transformers movie. Wonder why it freezes.
5. Find out that the screen glass isn't attached to the device very well, and has popped out on the left side.
6. Search the web for news of glass popping out of Nexus 7s. Feel better that it's happened to lots of other people.
7. Email Google Commerce Ltd. as instructed on the receipt.
8. Wait four days. Nothing will happen, so keep yourself amused by attempting to understand how a popular operating system built by one of the world's largest companies can be so hostile to humans.
9. Phone Asus on 0870 1208340 as suggested by this article in Crave.
10. Phone Google on 0800 328 6081 as suggested by Asus when you speak to them. Wait. And wait. And wait...
11. Pray that Apple brings out a 7-inch tablet soon.